Dear NHL,

Now that we’re Facebook-official, let us be among the first to throw our hat in the rink and extend you a warm welcome to our chilly city.

Seattle is a special place (but don’t tell your friends—we’re already a little crowded). We know you’re going to love it. Your big news got us thinking about a few of the things you have to look forward to now that you’re an official Seattleite—and a couple warnings to help get you acclimated to our climate:

1. We don’t throw octopus, but head down to Pike Place Market and you’ll see we do we sling salmon.
2. Don’t get yourself stuck in the penalty box—umbrellas are for tourists only.
3. You’re familiar with icing. It sounds chilly, but we think we’ve got you beat with the Seattle Freeze.
4. You’re fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs, but around here we can smoke our leaves.
5. You might have heard we’re waiting for “The Big One.” If the ground shakes during your match, don’t worry, it’s not an earthquake—just Seattle sports fans.
6. Sure, your playoff beards are impressive, but have you walked through Fremont during a craft beer fest?
7. When you win the Stanley Cup this year, it’ll still rain on your parade.

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

Now that we see it all written down, we realize we might not be selling it well—but we know you’re always up for a good fight, so we think you’ll make it out here just fine.

Three stars and a salute to Seattle’s newest citizen.

We’re glad you’re here.

—Belief Agency